Heritage...

It's been four weeks ago today that my dad left his earthly existence...and that old axiom is so true...in some ways it seems like yesterday, and in some ways it seems like it's been a lot longer than four weeks.  I am still working through a lot of the thoughts and feelings that have come pouring out, but I thought I would share some thoughts that I wrote for Dad's memorial service, as a way of letting you into my world.  So no photographs today....just a picture hopefully painted with words....

I really didn’t know my dad as anything other than a minister, a pastor until the last few years of his life.  I always knew that he was called to the ministry, that he gave his heart and soul to it.   What I didn’t know or understand was the man underneath that mantle of pastor.  I didn’t understand the struggle he endured….a very introverted man who gave so much of himself to his ministry that sometimes he felt like he had nothing left.  I distinctly remember one time when we were talking about his call to ministry…he looked at me and said, “If God would have let me do anything else, Sandy, I would have!”  But he was obedient to God’s call, and I am filled with gratitude when I hear the testimonies of so many whose lives he influenced, who were changed under his ministry.  What a great heritage of faith he has left behind…so much more priceless than a bank account or the proverbial houses or lands. 

 

Since his death,  I have frequently heard him referred to as a champion, a warrior of the faith, a man with a servant’s heart….a man of integrity and faith.  Yes, he was all of those, but he was so much more.  During the last years of his retirement, I got to know a different man…a man with a tender heart, a gentle spirit….a man who even in the face of pain and loneliness constantly commented on how fortunate and blessed he was.  He was fortunate that he still had his sight in one eye, that he could get around somewhat, that he was not in as “bad a shape” as so many he saw in his nursing home.  He was blessed, he said, because he had children and grandchildren who loved him and who showed it in their actions.  He was beyond blessed because he had a hope…a hope founded in his faith in his Lord and Savior.  A man who knew where he was going…..

During this last year, particularly, he talked a lot about things and events from earlier years…..things he had regrets about, things he felt he had failed at, things he felt he had somehow done right. And then we talked about grace…..God’s grace, and how it covered all of our sins, our mistakes and our shortcomings.  In one of our last conversations, Dad looked at me and said, “God is so much more than we can even imagine!”  Yes, Dad, he is….and you were a lot more than I imagined you to be….and I am forever grateful for these last years, to have the chance to know the man you were, the man you became.  Thanks, Dad, for being vulnerable and sharing from your heart….you were, are and will be forever loved.

 

One of the gentlemen, working for the funeral home, who was assisting with the family visitation and service for Dad, approached me saying that he understood that Dad had been a pastor for over 40 years.  He said that he had been a pastor, and he hoped that when he passed on, his children would remember him this way.....a fitting tribute for a true man of God!

 

Missing you and our early evening talks, Dad, but rejoicing for you!   Oh, and by the way, "our" bees are doing just fine!

 

 

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing."  II Tim. 4:7-8